Friday, December 23, 2016

Happy Holidays?

Hello Furnace Followers!
I've decided to make a bit of a come-back. I will be using this blog to share more of my creative writing and still some (hopefully) insightful blog posts.

This is what I called my version of a "holiday card" this year. I read this at the Innisfree Poetry Open Mic recently.

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Io Saturnalia! Gut Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah…Happy Holidays?

I am checking out of this Season this year; I am abstaining, and if at all possible ignoring everything.

I read somewhere that Pliny the Younger, every year would retire to his rooms during the entire holiday of Saturnalia…now eighteen hundred years later, this time of year is known as Christahanakuanzayule…or just Happy Holidays for short.

Advertisers don’t care what you call “it” as long as you are racking up charges on your visa/mastercard/American express/discover accepted here.

I don’t watch TV anymore (it’s been 8 years now) but my computer, linked to the internet is no safety zone from this season. Advertisers have become like con-artists in the myriad ways they can snag your email address or throw a dump-truck load of “Cookies” which leave thick crumb trails for those digital hounds to follow.

This is not a rant; it may be a bit of a chuckle, or maybe a defiant cry—mostly these are my benevolent observations while standing on the banks of the river of crazed or numb shoppers, holding my sign that reads “Free Tea and cookies for the weary; Stop and think about what you are doing!”

No one wants to take me up on the offer.

Perhaps they’re afraid I will ask them to give up this madness—which of course I will. But not until they have a cup’a tea and a biscuit; as I am sure their blood sugar is low—rational talk only begins after food.

I am checking out of this season this year; I am suffering from a generational curse of enforced guilt over what one SHOULD do vs. what I thought I would do in the quest to preserve family memories, customs, and memes during THE Holidays, and whether or not we can sing something “new” at church—I use scare quotes because new only means we haven’t sung it in 15 years or so.

I am checking out of this season this year; I realized that I was trying to capture memories of holidays past and re-live what I thought were pretty moments without the drama, emotional abuse and mental meltdowns that actually encrust those fleeting memories—I am tired of failing miserably.

The sad thing is watching people around me doing exactly the same thing, for exactly the same reasons; thus adding to the Post Traumatic Stress disorder of the whole planet!

On a positive note: I was part of a Christmas pageant which didn’t seem to leave any permanent emotional scars on the child performers; and I may have watched the beginning of  what might end up being be some promising acting careers!

I am checking out of this season this year; because I need to heal from people (well meaning or not) telling me how I should live and how I should behave, especially during this winter Season; when that just isn’t a good fit for who I am—Paul Simon wrote his song “I am a Rock” in a way that made me believe that to be an island or a rock was a bad thing! I still feel pain and I do cry, but I pull up the drawbridge as necessary and shut out the world—and I am OK with that!

This Season will soon be over, and the days will grow longer and warmer, but right now I will sit alone, warm and comfortable—content in my melancholy sort of way which for me is as happy as I need to be right now.

So may you all have a comfortable, calm and sane Season through the dark days of winter—I wish you all peace and poetry for the New Year!

Pax et Iustia (peace and Justice)

Lisa